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| I really have
no clue. This is something I ask myself daily: why do I
have to get up in the morning, why do I come back from
school and automatically start doing what I usually do,
why do I live here and how did it happen, why am I who I
am? Who am I by the way?.. If you didn't figure it out by
now, this is meant to be my "random thoughts page"
and some sort of sequel to the "About" chapter..
I think a lot, I actually spend more time thinking and
listening and analyzing people rather than talking...
Some find it interesting, some find it weird and
therefore they find ME pretty weird... I take it as a
good thing and I can't deny the fact that even I feel
strange at times. But, as I said, I take it as a good
thing because if I were normal/average/common/you name
it, then I guess no one would be interested in me
anylonger. It's definitely better to stick out of the
crowd and be someone, something else. I don't "fit in". That's a fact and even though it may seem I do, I really don't. First of all because I don't want to, I don't find being put in a certain category pleasant nor flattering and I'd rather go my own way and fail then learn from my mistakes than become one insignificant little sheep in a big flock heading for the top of a cliff... To me groups are okay as long as they're based on serious principles and friendship and not on concepts like "I must be part of that group, those chicks are so cool" or "I'll stick to the smartasses' group, maybe he'll notice me". Secondly, I actually find it hard sometimes and when I do get together with someone it turns out they're not exactly what I had expected them to be. I still have a lot to learn about personality and character. I don't drink, I don't smoke, nor will I ever and I suppose a lot of the people around me, mostly those close to my age, find it somewhat disturbing...because, <<hello>> almost everyone has GOT to smoke when they're 16..."And face it, it's so trendy!" Well to be honest, I don't really give a damn about the trends. I've been taught to live my life in the best way possible, to have faith and to respect myself and the others. I'm giving my best and I believe I'm a nice person. I probably have more faith than any other teenagers I meet every day and I do respect everyone. Then I am positive that the best way to respect myself is to do all those things and take care of my life. Smoking and drinking are not the answer to my questions, they're only the opposite of what selfrespect is. I believe in God. I also believe in myself and I've come to the conclusion that everything around me is here for a reason. Everything has a meaning and our mission is to discover as much as possible of all those great mysteries behind every little thing. I'm not a philosopher nor am I trying to be one, some sort of teen-wonder preaching about the meaning of life. But I'm thankful for what I recieve everyday and although I've also lost a lot, much more has been given to me in return. So then, why do I wake up in the morning? And why do I turn the computer on and start doing my homework when I come home? Because that's my LIFE. "All our knowledge consists of us knowing our own selves" |
